#Adoption911 | “A Revolution in the Family”

Adam Pertman, who we might describe as a “secular evangelizer” for adoption, is going to be speaking at the Ethical Society of Boston on Sunday, September 22, 2013 in Belmont. The title of the lecture is: “A Revolution in the Family—Adoption’s Impact on Us All”.

"No Ordinary Family"

Overlooking the cynical use of the word “revolution” here, as well as the reliance on bourgeois cosmopolitanism as defining the entirety of society, please take some time to write to the Ethical Society at the email below and express your view concerning the “ethics” of adoption as concerns not hearing the voices of those most “impacted”, and instead only hearing from those with an invested interest in the industry and practice. We need to shift this dialogue to at least something resembling a balance of voices, instead of the tired mythologies and affirmations from the Usual Suspects.

If you’re in the Boston area, perhaps you might have the time to stop by and “ask a few questions”; hand out leaflets; make sure our voices are heard. Finally, it might be worth contacting the members of the Board of Directors to explain the inherent contradiction of putting “adoption” and “ethics” in the same sentence, when only one view of adoption is conveyed.

Ethical Society of Boston email: ESBoston@BostonEthical.org

About Daniel Drennan ElAwar

Adoptee, rematriated.
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4 Responses to #Adoption911 | “A Revolution in the Family”

  1. Emailed them! Thanks for bringing it to our attention!

  2. barbthavis says:

    Thanks, Daniel. Here is my email to the society:
    I read a blog posting that mentioned you are having Adam Pertman over to your organization to discuss adoption. Well I sure hope he hits on these topics, but as one that has benefited greatly from adoption, as an adoptive parent and in his pocketbook, I doubt you will hear the real deal.

    I am a 54 year old mother of three. I lost my oldest daughter to adoption because I was poor (still in college) and unmarried. My parents said I couldn’t come home with ”the baby” and I didn’t have a permanent residence. Adoption wasn’t a choice.

    Infant adoption, as it is practiced in the USA, still isn’t a choice for 90 % of the women who relinquish infants to adoption. If you look at other western societies that do not allow adoption to be a free market industry (you give me $30,000 and I’ll give you a white infant, while $12,000 gets you a black baby). Nope, other countries have ETHICS surrounding adoption and infant adoption occurs (based on population) 90% less than in the US.

    Currently, adoption agencies work on behalf of their paying customers, infertile couples, gay couples and singles, who are wanting to become parents. The agencies have used market research companies to figure out just the right thing to say to get a mother to relinquish her child. These mothers are coerced , one option isn’t a choice.

    Here is how could we bring ethics into adoption:

    • No pre birth matching of mothers and hopeful adoptive parents.

    • No expenses covered for the mother by adoption agencies or prospective adoptive parents.

    • Maintain an expectation that mothers care for their babies for the first six weeks of the baby’s life (puppies are given that consideration).

    • No TPR can be signed until six weeks post partum and it must be done in front of a judge. Fathers need to sign TPR, too, and a DNA test must be done to make sure the names on the birth certificate are accurate. If mothers will not name the father, intrusive investigation needs to be done to try and get the information for the child.

    • Mothers are given six weeks to change their mind after signing TPR and no best interest of the child is needed for the baby to go back to the mother.

    • All adoption records, files, and original birth certificates released to the adoptee at age 18.

    • Much more thorough and intrusive vetting for adopters, including multiple psych evaluations.

    • Natural parents notified and consulted in a disruption of an adoption.

    • Money taken out of adoption.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    • Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am truly sorry for your loss.

      I think what bothered me most in this case is his idea (from his books) that adoption is changing society by “mixing races” and opening family up to those who previously might not have been able to have a family (single parents, same-sex couples, etc.) This so speaks to a boojy cosmopolitan reality far removed from that of 99 percent of society, and, as you are pointing out, does nothing to change the underlying problem. Hopefully they might host a different opinion from children, mothers, families, and communities of those adopted in the future.

  3. I appreciate Barb Thavis’s detailed e-mail to the Ethical Society.

    I am an adoptee, raised in the Ethical Society by free-thinking parents. I am writing to the Ethical Society of Boston today, telling them that they should have had two speakers *at least*, probably more, so encourage discussion. That’s what I was taught as part of ethical culture: plurality of opinion, not one. Why not invite counterpoint for the unethical side; the author of “The Child Catchers,” Kathryn Joyce, for example? Do we really need to hear about the industry from an AP who runs a think tank as the *only* perspective? Given what’s going on in the press with the Reuters expose, what about speaking to the baseness of “re-homing”? And someone should question the falsehood of creating “multicultural” families. Debate should be the order of the day–except as Daniel says, such forums tend to be about reinforcing bourgeois concepts of largesse, not truly thinking about difficult topics, and initiating change. I am disgusted.

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