National anti-adoption awareness month: 30 answers to 30 questions.

The problem for adoptees arguing about their position in society is similar to what has been experienced previously by other marginalized groups looking to make a space within the hegemonic culture. Namely, how to expand out from what is considered simply a personal issue; an individual hang-up; a “selfish” focus on one’s condition. The individualistic and solipsistic dominant culture ironically turns around and tells its absconded-with children to not be so “selfish” as to complain. In other terms, this was used against other groups as well—”don’t be ‘uppity'”; “know your role”. We should literally be seen and not heard. Those days are over.

What follows is a reversal of roles. 30 answers to 30 questions that have come up in discussion boards and various “answer” web sites that pretend to be objective but more often than not stifle debate, delete contrarian posts, and disallow membership to those with a minority point of view—the web site Canada Adopts! is probably the most fascistic in this regard. This is understandable, however, when we consider that the answers to the questions, when removed from a personal or individual emotional plane, and instead focusing on the economic and political realm, are harder to justify by those in power—and thus the retaliation, the backlash, and the twisted framing of the dominant culture of those seeking infants as being somehow minority, victimized, and on the defensive.

Armed with this positioning of the argument, the anti-adoption movement is poised to join its brothers and sisters in other liberation movements of dispossessed and marginalized peoples the world over in the struggle for equality, true equality; the status of polis for all, and the end of the false positioning of the dominant mode of thinking as anything other than what it is: the political and economic destruction of those who don’t fit in to its view of the world. Nothing more and nothing less.

The questions listed out include:

  1. Do people who have been adopted blame others all their lives for their adoption?
  2. Can someone please tell me more about the darkside of adoption?
  3. When/why did the word “bitter” get associated with non-compliant adoptees?
  4. Why would someone think that Adoption erases a child’s identity?
  5. What do you anticipate your response will be if another family member/friend decides to adopt?
  6. What about the children? Is it better for a child to live in hell?
  7. Does anything anyone say about adoption hurt you anymore?
  8. [What do you think of this] “Gotcha Day” celebration?
  9. Should international adopters send the children back?
  10. Do you believe God has a play in infertility/fertility/adoption?
  11. Why is it common for infant-adoptive parents to be ridiculed?
  12. Have you felt in your life like you’re always searching for something?
  13. In adoption-speak, what difference between “from China” and “Chinese”?
  14. Should I write this letter to the mother of the child in my care?
  15. Wouldn’t you want Lebanese orphans to be saved like you?
  16. Why are people so against adoption here?
  17. Shouldn’t we praise those who disrupt their adoptions?
  18. What if I make every effort to help my child through their grief?
  19. Is there a difference between an adopted child and a “Western” child?
  20. Why don’t more people adopt?
  21. What can adoptive parents do to change things?
  22. What do you think of expatriate adoptions abroad?
  23. Doesn’t it say to adopt in the Bible?
  24. Is it okay to not get U.S. citizenship for an internationally adopted child?
  25. What are you grateful for as an adoptee?
  26. Is there any value in an adoptee cultural camp?
  27. What does “adoptee” mean to you?
  28. What are you [adoptee] trying to accomplish on this blog?
  29. Isn’t it valid to compare adoption with a pregnancy?
  30. Why are adoptees never asking, always answering questions?

The point here was always to shift the debate from the personal to the economical and political. “Entitled opinion” of course exists where history is concerned, but at least changing the parameters of the discussion gets us away from the purely emotional, and the mythologies that take advantage of this.

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About Daniel Drennan ElAwar

Adoptee, rematriated.
This entry was posted in Q&A. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to National anti-adoption awareness month: 30 answers to 30 questions.

  1. You gotta love #6. It’s a classic.

  2. eagoodlife says:

    Reblogged this on The Life Of Von and commented:
    Please check the link and the answers to these questions on adoption.

  3. nancy rodgers says:

    Thank you! It’s so refreshing to read the truth.

  4. lara/trace says:

    Reblogged this on Blue Hand Books and commented:
    THINK about these questions – really — then answer!

  5. Pingback: Anti-adoption month: 30 answers to 30 questions | lara (author-blogger)

  6. Pingback: Bitter? Adoptees? Beirut Diary | lara (author-blogger)

  7. Pingback: Richard Land Sent to the Woodshed: Bastards have the wrong dad | The Daily Bastardette

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