Isn’t it valid to compare adoption with a pregnancy?

This is the 29th question in the series: “Anti-adoption month: 30 answers to 30 questions on adoption” [link].

Paper pregnancy is one of those horrid terms that has been created solely for the benefit of the adoption industry and its followers, and shows up in hundreds of blogs as a valid trope, such as this one: Parenthood for Me: Adoptive Parents Are Expecting Too. In question form, it might sound something like this:

Because of the wait involved, along with other similarities, isn’t it valid to compare adoption with a pregnancy?

Answer: No. Categorically, no. It is completely invalid, because the metaphor is not a natural one, meaning it requires great leaps of logic to make it. Furthermore, it is fabricated after the fact, and by those wholly invested in such an outcome. Finally, it is selective in its comparison which is based in unequal references, meaning it takes similar concepts and equates them while ignoring the disingenuousness of such matching. For example, a woman “waiting” for nine months for the gestation of the child who is physically part of her cannot be given equivalence to the “waiting” for a bureaucratic process to take place that also “delivers” a child. There are much more dissimilarities here than things similar.

Most problematic is that I can make the same analogy, in the very words of this author, and borrowing her faulty rhetoric, but instead comparing pregnancy to something completely horrifying and hideous, like lynching (which I will spare you; see reference). Such a comparison reveals the power differential involved, and shows how much we see adoption as part of the status quo; as the norm. If we don’t react in a similar manner to the “paper pregnancy” comparison, if we don’t recoil with the same disgust, then this shows how debased a culture we currently live in.

The common background historically speaking of both slavery and adoption as institutions of human trafficking provides a more-valid counter to such an egregious comparison. This reveals the invalidity of the resulting analogy, while simultaneously pointing out the self-aggrandizing intentions of the one invoking it. That the author of this dreck might allow pride in her feeble attempt at a creative writing analogy outweigh the consequences of positing such a disturbing trope speaks volumes as to where she is coming from in terms of morals and ethics. That it should be received with thanks and gratitude reveals to us the depths of depravity that adoption sinks us to as a society and as human beings.

The metaphor of adoption to pregnancy is loathsome, insulting, misogynist, and disgusting on all levels.


Killing the Black Body Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty, by Dorothy Roberts.

About Daniel Drennan ElAwar

Adoptee, rematriated.
This entry was posted in Adoption activism, Q&A. Bookmark the permalink.

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