The silencing of the adoptee voice.


I recently received a “cease and desist” letter from an adoptive parent who had posted an entry basically stating that she was sick of IA criticism. Her blog was open to comments, and I commented, but apparently the blog is only open to some comments. I think the letter itself is interesting, because it really gives us some insight into what we often bring up in our discussions here:

  1. There is a dominant discourse which does not wish to hear resistant voices;
  2. Resistant voices will be dismissed, attacked, maligned;
  3. Those resisting will be attacked personally in terms of mental well-being, upbringing, etc.;
  4. The dominant voice will be portrayed as the victim;
  5. The dominant voice will attempt to co-opt or subsume the resistant voice.

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About Daniel Drennan ElAwar

Adoptee, rematriated.
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2 Responses to The silencing of the adoptee voice.

  1. R.O. Lopez says:

    I enjoy your site. Thank you for what you do. I was raised by a lesbian couple and have gathered around me other children of gay parenting schemes who do not accept the abusive premise that gay adults had the right to us while we had no right to a mom and dad. But I am currently rare as a defiant child of gay parenting willing to speak out publicly. I hope one day that my fellow resisters can come forward and galvanize as transracial adoptees have; many of us share the transracial issues as well. My site is englishmanif at blogspot dot com. I am conservative politically so I am sure you would probably not want to associate with me but I wanted to let you know you have been inspiring me from afar.

    • Thanks for the input on this issue. I should pre-emptively short-circuit something here; I have no problem “associating” with those on the conservative side of things; my adoptive family was “conservative” and I grew up with The National Review, The American Spectator, as well as Rush on the radio; I can hold my own in this environment. The issue of “association” is rather how resistant politics might be seen by what would be the de facto dominant mode of things; meaning, if someone on the right end of the spectrum is still willing to engage, and at the same time does not deny, say, my right to existence, than I have no problem with the politics. My adoptive father and I used to get into rather rousing discussions all the time.

      Having said that, I think I at least appreciate the honesty of someone saying “I think conservatively”. What troubles me most about the notion of adoption for those who identify as homosexual is, as you say, the idea that there is a “right” to children first, and second, that just by virtue of being marginalized by society, this leads in and of itself to progressive action, and that adoption is such an action. Europe is going down this road. I wrote about this in particular in the article “Adoption, Surrogacy, and Birthright“. As human beings, self-identifying as “gay” does not absolve an individual from being regressive, conservative (in terms of nationalism, patriarchal systems, or class-identification), and destructive of family and community.

      It is strange for me sometimes to find my words echoed by, say, rabidly right-wing nationalist web sites in Italy calling for the separation of races, or on French “sanctity of marriage” web sites who speak similarly to how you are speaking. I admit that this issue can be used as an anti-humanistic bludgeon against those who identify as homosexual, and this I want no part of. That I can speak about it purely in terms of class entitlement and a “colonized mind” mimicry of the dominant mode removes us from the any kind of bashing that I read between the lines in much of this political discussion.

      Like I said, I re-iterate that I’m willing to engage with anyone on the issue, as long as this engagement does not pose a risk to my own physical well-being.

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